[Obligatory Election Post With Witty and Ironic Title]

[Witty and ironic opening line that mirrors the title]

[Statement of shock and astonishment]

[Recounting the moment when I learned of the election results]

[Confession that I too trusted Nate Silver way too much]

[Think about the children]

[Link to NPR program that satirically imagined a Trump presidency back in the spring]

[Look who is laughing now]

[Noting of the exit polls]

[Castigation of "the media" for over-hyping the "working class" narrative, pointing out that people making under $50,000 went for Clinton]

[Walking back previous statement since polling obviously sucks. Royally]

[Brexit: Should have seen it coming]

[Embed video from Idiocracy]

[Reference Sinclair Lewis's 1935 novel, It Can't Happen Here to demonstrate my fluency in relevant political literature]

[Avoid mentioning that I just learned about this novel because of a CBC podcast]

[Further avoid mentioning that all of my literary wisdom comes from podcasts]

[Bury those intellectual insecurities deep, deep down]

[Lament the evangelical and Catholic vote]

[Criticize the media a little more]

[Speculate about Bernie]

[Speculate about 2020]

[Dear God Mike Pence please be the voice of reason]

[Quote famous person who said something about unity and love, not division and hate]

[Something about running and how that brings people together]

[Witty and ironic closing sentence that manages to connect back to the opening sentence and title]